[Original Post: 13th July 2023]
Sinclair’s memoir completely wrapped me up in the world she grew up in- Jamaica but well away from billboard luxuries. Her father stifles her with his oppressive version of Rastafarian beliefs, seeking to silence her in every sense. To keep her away from Babylon so she doesn’t become an “unclean woman”. Courageously, she rebels to save her own spirit. She rejects a culture bent on keeping her subservient in tradition and patriarchy. I got to hear Sinclair speak a few months ago and her conviction alone made me want to read it. That and her mentioning she cut her dreads off in rebellion!
Her childhood and adolescence are chaotic, at times abusive. Her mother tries her best to keep joy in her children’s lives but ultimately, she’s under the same regime. You can feel weight in the shift from carefree child to a teen held back in a shadow. It’s not a book to be read lightly- as heart breaking as it is hopeful. It is exciting too- despite her situation, Sinclair was determined to thrive- into adventure even!
I loved the historical and social context Sinclair gave without breaking from the book’s personal tone. I thought it was brilliant to begin the story describing Haile Selassie’s reception in Jamaica in 1966. By now that event is equal parts memory and myth- so thoughtful to start with this and not even her own introduction. Through collective memory that far preceded her, Sinclair impressed the magnitude of influence Rastafarianism had on Jamaica’s working class. What Rastafarianism would come to mean for her father- and ultimately how large it would loom in her life. From the start, this was bigger than any one person in the book- and still deeply personal.
I think it’s a complex balance to write a book like this. I didn’t get the impression that Sinclair was demonising her father or his beliefs. She does tell his story – his own crushing rejections in childhood, adult dreams unrealised. Actually, its clear that she loves him but you absolutely have to choose yourself in this situation. Through her experiences, we explore the misogyny in her father’s interpretation of Rastafarianism. He’s obsessed with purity- but of course, not his- not his son’s either. It’s invaluable that in spite of everything, the connection she had with her siblings was so strong
Although her relationship with her father is such a driving force, Sinclair’s relationship with her mother stands as its own powerful story here- one I was very invested in. In addition to a deep love, it seems as if they see themselves in each other and who they could be. In Safiya’s case who she couldn’t let herself be. She hauntingly envisages herself as a spectre in the future, a warning of her future. There’s a point in their relationship that really disappointed me but people are human I guess. Sinclair seemed to revere the perseverance of women in her family. As with many of the books Ive read, I would actually part with cash for a whole separate story about the mother.
I’m a fan of poets writing prose, Sinclair’s writing is evocative and intentional. I love the role she lets nature, especially water/ the sea play in her narrative.
I would say though, there seemed to be a couple of events/passages which seemed repeated without any particular literary affect through the book- possibly a bit more editing could have made the book shorter in that respect. I will never say no to a shorter book
Overall, this is one of my favourite reads this year. I don’t think I’ve ever read this story before- to be honest its rare that I’ve heard Rastafarianism from a woman’s perspective in media. She’s not asking for pity. It sounds like she’s speaking from both vulnerability and strength. It is so powerful that Sinclair builds her experience into the lore of her family’s history. It is her memoir but it’s clear that she has a reverence for the women she descended from – as well as a passionate rejection of the woman she could have been forced to become. The very fact that she’s here and succeeding means she’s still writing that story right now. In a way, we’re all doing the same
Thanks 4th Estate Publishing for this proof copy
Paperback Social 